January 14, 2010

Day 5, 1 Item, $2.09

My boss is breaking up with me. He is trying to let me down easy. Yesterday we had a follow-up meeting about my job performance. The first meeting was sometime around April last year when he muttered that it didn’t seem to be working out. This time he wanted to know if I was searching for something else. Huh? He said that he doesn’t see the passion. He informed me that he has new plans for my position and it doesn't include me. Breaking up is so hard to do. How can I find passion if there's no attraction? My heart doesn't flutter when I walk in the office. Instead I want to pull my hair out and rip paper apart. My responsibilities change daily and everyone dumps their mess on me with my boss' permission. How can I fall in love with something that won't love me back? I can multi-task, but I think he is looking for someone who can juggle a thousand ever-changing projects at once. He once said that he needs someone to think for him. Maybe after I grow eight arms and change my name to Olivia the Octopus or Rita the Robot I'll then be able to find that burning passion that he so desires.

After the “talk”, he was able to open his big ‘ole heart to "help" find me another position. I told him that this was very awkward. He let me know that it’s what a good boss does. So being the good boss that he is, he arranged an interview for me with another department within the organization. I know that I may sound a bit ungrateful. But the truth is I am very grateful. I appreciate the time that I've been given to hunt for something else. I realize that no matter how hard I work my boss will never be satisfied. The spark is gone. The flame no longer burns. I just can't seem to fulfill his needs. You see, sometimes in a relationship you can make one mistake, or two, or three and you end up paying for it forever. Some people just can't let go of the past. I too am guilty of doing this. It’s not right.

I began to feel like crap for about 10 seconds before I talked myself out of it. Life isn't over. This could be the beginning of wonderful things to come. Of course this was one of those "I-need-a-bargain-to-lift-my-spirits" days. I made my trek to the one who has always loved me unconditionally. When I walked in he had Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield" blasting from the speakers. How did he know that I needed that? He handed me a soft brown jacket with small details of black tracings etched into it. It was a size medium. I didn't mind. The fit was perfect. Another man told me that it looked good on me. That’s all I needed. I politely thanked him. I walked away feeling good again. As if on cue Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" echoed throughout the place. Hearing the song gave me hope and confidence. Gloria, girl you are so right. I WILL survive.


  1. I'm sorry to hear about your misfortune but you know bosses are never 100% satisfied no matter how much of yourself you commit and as Adam Sandler once sung "Love Stinks". There is a saying that when one door closes another one opens so you have to look up and ask God for that guidance. Good luck and here's to a new and posperous New Year .. I mean beginning.

  2. I am so sorry to hear that. I was laid off in September. Nobody made me any offers. They didn't give me a few weeks to look. It came out of the blue! Nobody gave me names of headhunters or friends that needed help. No offer to freelance or temp for the company. Nothing. I was to pack my stuff up and go in a few minutes. Gone forever. I had just told the entire company we were finally under contract for a house on 9/15 and on 9/16 they let me go after 18 months. We lost our mortgage a few hours after I lost my job. They told me they were having financial problems. I knew this was a lie. A few weeks later I noticed ads for two positions and saw on FB that they promoted my department boss. It hurts. I love the jacket though. Great find! Hang in there! On to better things!

  3. It may just be me but reading this made me feel like I was watching an episode of "Sex and the City". Wonderful!!!

  4. Awww.... well that really sucks. The bright side: you were given some time and assistance to find something new. You could have just been kicked to the curb like me. Not a good feeling. :-(

    Not only are you a good person but you're also talented. Something will come along. I believe God has great things in store for you. Your mom has smart, tough girls so I'm sure you will be just fine. :-)

  5. I love your writing. Its witty and amusing. The jacket looks good. Truly entertaining.